Father Ted Quotes

"Father Ted" is my favorite TV show of all time. It's a 1990's Irish sitcom about the misadventures of three dysfunctional Catholic priests who live together on a desolate island off the coast of Ireland. There's a large cast of supporting and minor characters, and every last one of them has huge, gaping character flaws. The show lasted three seasons.

Our first Adobe-Flash based project in ART 119 will be a text-based animation inspired by the work of Young-Hae Chang Heavy Industries. I plan to use one of two long, rambling "Father Ted" quotes for the project.

In the first quote, Father Dougal McGuire, a childish, eccentric and stupid young priest, is describing rumors he has heard about a horrific "beast" that roams the island:

"They say it's as big as four cats, and it's got a retractable leg so's it can leap up at ya better. And you know what, Ted? It lights up at night. And, uh, it's got four ears; two of them are for listening and the other two are kind of back-up ears. And...its claws are as big as cups, and for some reason it's got a tremendous fear of stamps. And Mrs. Doyle was tellin' me that it's got magnets on its tail, so's if you're made out of metal it can attach itself to you. And instead of a mouth it's got four arses...I bet some of its ears are on the inside of its head. And when he yawns, it sounds like Liam Neeson, eh, chasing a load of hens around inside a barrel. And, uh, he doesn't have any eyebrows at all, except on Saturdays."

In the second quote, Father Austin Purcell, "the most boring priest in the world," is standing in a storage closet and rambling to himself:

"What's your favorite humming noise? Would it be, "Mmmmm." Or would it be, "MmmmMMM." The first one is the sound of a fridge. The second one is the sound of a man humming. You never hear a woman humming. I knew a woman once, but she died soon afterward. Now, I'd have to say my favorite color was gray. No, blue. A soft blue, with a hint of gray. No, ORANGE. Orange. That's it. I had an extension put on the house, and I put it on the extension, so the house is in a circle now."

Hi.

This is my maiden voyage into blogging. This blog was created as a requirement for ART 119 (Digital Media Design) at Portland State University, but it will probably serve as a catch-all blog for all my art classes.